When all you have told me is to be happy when I’m told that I’m a “good” person. You have given me titles that validates my insecurity. I’m a good person. I have been robbed from my honesty as saying “no” makes me a bad one. I see how you have lined up people to take from me. And all that feeds your truth in me is my slaved truth that ” I am a good person”.
I have given myself over to humanity at times when I needed me most. “But I’m a good person “. I have neglected loved ones to be there for them because ” I am a good person”. I make those wait for my given truth “I am a good person”. I have been giving rides in my vehicle of life, exhausting my fuel needed to take me further, for “I am a good person”.
I have allowed you to take my dreams and see how you turned them into yours for I am a “good person”. I’m nervous to say. Even A good person has great desire to be “bad”. I see how my “bad” fibre negates from its moral thrown it has been placed on. And it feels good. Good in all shapes,forms and truth thereof. It feels good to finally be bad. But good has left me pained. Good has left my soul depleted, spirit negated and patience deflated. And all I’m left with is the freedom to be bad. It opened my eyes that has been closed by being “good’.
As I see how “friends” takes sideline seats as enemies. How those who claimed to believe in me starts to question my growth. How they gulp when they see my truth prevailing. How they fall like leaves in autumn effortlessly as I become bad. The beautiful bad created my own truth. I’m tired of being all of your “good” for you. I am ready to be all of my bad for me. I am bad. And that’s good for me.
Written by Bolla Marine
Photocred Mogamad Ajamdien